Dvd Avins (barking_iguana) wrote,
Dvd Avins
barking_iguana

Bullying

Bullying affects people you know, even if you don't know it.
I was bullied throughout my time in public school. It was worst in 2nd grade, but even as it got better, it never stopped.

The most physically damaging incidents came as I got older.

  • I have hearing loss from a firecracker (M80, probably) thrown into an enclosed stairwell I was in.

  • The cartilage damage in my knee dates from when I was skinny, but I don't know if it was caused by the time someone jammed by lower leg between the wheel well and seat of a school bus and tried to break my leg.

  • One that was younger: the ventral hernia that has dogged me including 3 operations, one preceded by excruciating pain of intestine nearly dying due scar tissue adhesions from a previous operation--the first time I felt that was when I got punched the last day of second grade--by a guy who likes a lot of what I post here and probably doesn't remember the incident. Again, I'd bet against him having caused the hernia, but I don't know.

But even worse than the physical effects is the psychological trauma of living in fear all the time. And knowing that if I show I'm afraid, that will only bring on much more bullying. If I seem well put together, needing to put on that front is why. I have done some damned good things in my life, but I could also fairly be called an underachiever, with PTSD and an anxiety disorder. My experiences at school account for half of that, if not more.
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